The Astrological Spread

Difficulty: Complicated
The Astrological Tarot Spread is based upon houses of astrology. This complicated spread takes several steps to understand.
The first step is to interpret the tarot card for each individual position in the spread.
The second step involves further examination of the main axes. Positions 1 & 7 show the relationship theme, #1 representing the reader, #7 their partner. Positions 4 & 10 indicate motion. #4 indicates where the reader is now, and #10 suggests what they are moving towards.
The third step involves breaking down the chart into triads according to their house elements.
Positions 1, 5, & 9 represent the Fire triad, symbolising temperament and personal development.
Positions 2, 6, & 10 represent the Earth triad, concerned with materialism, money, and work.
Positions 3, 7, & 11 represent the Air triad, which has to do with thoughts, ideas, and connections with other people.
Positions 4, 8, & 12 represent the Water triad, the realm of emotions, moods, intuition, and yearnings.
Further, other patterns and correlations between certain numbers can be noted. Certain numbers such as the set of 5, 7, & 8 often speak about a particular theme.
Your Astrological Reading
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1: Basic Mood

D cups in this case. Don't be ashamed to enjoy your vices, and never regret the sins you enjoy.
2: Finance

12:00 – Card 11
AKA The Priestess in traditional Tarot. Female, Fire, Leo.
The master of events, the shaper of destiny, the will in action. The opposite of the fool, the Sorceress is active, in control. Aware instead of ignorant, wise instead of apathetic. A goddess, for the only gods that exist are men and women who make deities of themselves.
3: Mundane Life

And two for my homies. Never forget past orthodoxies, past people or past events. Those who don't know their history aren't doomed to repeat it, they're doomed to fail history class and look like idiots. One feels no shame in repeating something they never saw in the first place, but stupidity is the greatest sin.
4: Home

5:00 – Card 2
Male, Water, Cancer.
A victim, weakness, prey. To try and then to fail in the worst way hurts, but it's better than standing still or letting those around you dictate your actions. There are great ambitious lives throughout history now deemed failures, even some angels have failed. But failure nonetheless.
5: Fun Things

1:00 – Card 8
AKA The Hierophant in traditional Tarot. Male, Fire, Taurus.
The master, the controller, the employer. To force one's will upon others and make them work for your own benefits. Not always a cruel thing if it's done right. But it's so rarely done right.
6: Work

Based on Canova's Three Graces. And don't say there's nothing to do in the Doldrums. Time spent doing nothing isn't wasted if it was enjoyed, only if it was miserable boredom.
7: Partners

Classic iconography. Classic significance: Absolute destruction.
8: Hidden Aspects

The tree of life doesn't play out flawlessly like it does in the diagrams. It's actually far more distorted than that. Don't mistake the map for the territory and follow books blindly.
9: Higher Views

Thank you Mario, but your princess is in another castle. Besides, this one's blocked by a cypress tree fence. Lofty goals are nothing if you can't get to them.
10: Reputation

Things grow from other dead things. Don't overlook them for their dark origins, and don't dismiss the dead as a total erasure of what was.
11: Friends

Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Dzugdzugdzug.
Realistically, profit isn't hanging in the sky to be taken. If you take it, you're taking it from somebody. And you don't just get to smoosh them.
12: Hopes and Fears

7:00 – Card 3
AKA The Chariot in traditional Tarot. Female, Water, Aquarius.
To be used, controlled, or even simply employed. It's hard to work for the will of another, especially when the other is undeserving of their power over you. At the same time, the effort makes one strong.