The Astrological Spread

Difficulty: Complicated
The Astrological Tarot Spread is based upon houses of astrology. This complicated spread takes several steps to understand.
The first step is to interpret the tarot card for each individual position in the spread.
The second step involves further examination of the main axes. Positions 1 & 7 show the relationship theme, #1 representing the reader, #7 their partner. Positions 4 & 10 indicate motion. #4 indicates where the reader is now, and #10 suggests what they are moving towards.
The third step involves breaking down the chart into triads according to their house elements.
Positions 1, 5, & 9 represent the Fire triad, symbolising temperament and personal development.
Positions 2, 6, & 10 represent the Earth triad, concerned with materialism, money, and work.
Positions 3, 7, & 11 represent the Air triad, which has to do with thoughts, ideas, and connections with other people.
Positions 4, 8, & 12 represent the Water triad, the realm of emotions, moods, intuition, and yearnings.
Further, other patterns and correlations between certain numbers can be noted. Certain numbers such as the set of 5, 7, & 8 often speak about a particular theme.
Your Astrological Reading
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1: Basic Mood

4:00 – Card 5
Male, Air, Virgo.
A card of loneliness, disconnection and solitude. Also, a card of hope – If you have half of something it means the other half is out there somewhere. It may be far away, you may have to wade through the nastiest slums to find it, but when you do it's brilliant.
2: Finance

The BLOB! The blob has taken the streets! It's reproducing, the blob will kill us all!!! THE BLOOOOB!!!!!!!!!!
3: Mundane Life

Regime change in action, it happens more in the sewers than the senates. One goes out, another comes in.
4: Home

Things grow from other dead things. Don't overlook them for their dark origins, and don't dismiss the dead as a total erasure of what was.
5: Fun Things

Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Dzugdzugdzug.
Realistically, profit isn't hanging in the sky to be taken. If you take it, you're taking it from somebody. And you don't just get to smoosh them.
6: Work

The means may be grotesque, but if they get you what you want you'd do well to use them.
7: Partners

'It's hard to fill a cup that's already full'. –James Cameron, Avatar. What fills your cup? If you like what's there don't let the nightmares in. But if you want to learn more, you have to spill your past preconceptions.
8: Hidden Aspects

Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam!
(Today is a good day to die!)
9: Higher Views

Stone is hard and sand is soft, yet one can erode the other in time and fundamentally, both are the exact same thing. Odd that the smaller of the two can destroy the larger and make it more like itself. Also note the Wolfs angle rune.
10: Reputation

This artist loves Thai food. Tom Yum soup and fried rice mostly. To be honest though I'm very poor at chopsticks.
11: Friends

Damn bright thing always vomiting heat and blinding light onto the populous. The artist of this deck isn't a fan.
12: Hopes and Fears

D cups in this case. Don't be ashamed to enjoy your vices, and never regret the sins you enjoy.