The Astrological Spread

Difficulty: Complicated
The Astrological Tarot Spread is based upon houses of astrology. This complicated spread takes several steps to understand.
The first step is to interpret the tarot card for each individual position in the spread.
The second step involves further examination of the main axes. Positions 1 & 7 show the relationship theme, #1 representing the reader, #7 their partner. Positions 4 & 10 indicate motion. #4 indicates where the reader is now, and #10 suggests what they are moving towards.
The third step involves breaking down the chart into triads according to their house elements.
Positions 1, 5, & 9 represent the Fire triad, symbolising temperament and personal development.
Positions 2, 6, & 10 represent the Earth triad, concerned with materialism, money, and work.
Positions 3, 7, & 11 represent the Air triad, which has to do with thoughts, ideas, and connections with other people.
Positions 4, 8, & 12 represent the Water triad, the realm of emotions, moods, intuition, and yearnings.
Further, other patterns and correlations between certain numbers can be noted. Certain numbers such as the set of 5, 7, & 8 often speak about a particular theme.
Your Astrological Reading
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1: Basic Mood

If you lost the means to do what you will, try retracing your steps. You had them before, you should be able to find them again. Unless they fell into the sewer, that would totally suck.
2: Finance

If you're stuck, the first step to freedom is to examine what's holding you in place.
3: Mundane Life

Two wands to keep them rowing in circles past death, one wand to put an end to it.
4: Home

An Homage to Kurosawa. Seven swords belonging to seven Samurai.
In a realistic movie, even masters can die, and life has a tendency to move like the most implausible plot.
5: Fun Things

AKA The World in traditional Tarot.
The walls and windows are all bricked up, there appears to be no way out, but you got in somehow, so there must be a way. Have you tried looking behind you? Even if you're trapped forever (As you are in this world) there's likely something fun do while you're here.
6: Work

'And one of the elders saith unto me, Weep not: behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, hath prevailed to open the book, and to loose the seven seals thereof'. –Rev 5:5
7: Partners

Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam!
(Today is a good day to die!)
8: Hidden Aspects

10:00 – Card 4
Male, Earth, Libra.
Failure and Loss. Defeat and ruin. The higher it's built, the harder it falls and the more it crushes when it does. That doesn't necessarily mean it wasn't worth building. Defeat can be accepted and the ruins left behind in favour of greener pastures, or one can start to rebuild. The latter is more difficult, but often more rewarding.
9: Higher Views

Damn bright thing always vomiting heat and blinding light onto the populous. The artist of this deck isn't a fan.
10: Reputation

Queen Bees begin developing in specially constructed cells within the hive. They are often oriented differently from other cells in the honeycomb, and are filled with Royal Jelly, a substance which determines the physiology of the queen to be.
11: Friends

AKA 2angels1grail in traditional 4chan. If you're offended, figure out why you're offended and excise the weakness.
12: Hopes and Fears

There is nothing that can't be destroyed by a powerful enough weapon, but be sure you have the right weapon for the job.