The Astrological Spread
Difficulty: Complicated
The Astrological Tarot Spread is based upon houses of astrology. This complicated spread takes several steps to understand.
The first step is to interpret the tarot card for each individual position in the spread.
The second step involves further examination of the main axes. Positions 1 & 7 show the relationship theme, #1 representing the reader, #7 their partner. Positions 4 & 10 indicate motion. #4 indicates where the reader is now, and #10 suggests what they are moving towards.
The third step involves breaking down the chart into triads according to their house elements.
Positions 1, 5, & 9 represent the Fire triad, symbolising temperament and personal development.
Positions 2, 6, & 10 represent the Earth triad, concerned with materialism, money, and work.
Positions 3, 7, & 11 represent the Air triad, which has to do with thoughts, ideas, and connections with other people.
Positions 4, 8, & 12 represent the Water triad, the realm of emotions, moods, intuition, and yearnings.
Further, other patterns and correlations between certain numbers can be noted. Certain numbers such as the set of 5, 7, & 8 often speak about a particular theme.
Your Astrological Reading
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1: Basic Mood
Tranquillity, calm, beauty, and for some reason I never understood, lobster. Don't ask me, blame antiquity.
2: Finance
The means may be grotesque, but if they get you what you want you'd do well to use them.
3: Mundane Life
The BLOB! The blob has taken the streets! It's reproducing, the blob will kill us all!!! THE BLOOOOB!!!!!!!!!!
4: Home
AKA The World in traditional Tarot.
The walls and windows are all bricked up, there appears to be no way out, but you got in somehow, so there must be a way. Have you tried looking behind you? Even if you're trapped forever (As you are in this world) there's likely something fun do while you're here.
5: Fun Things
A fencing mask on a skeleton with a cadeceus over a black sun before fire. Refer to the symbolic meaning of each to find the answers you seek.
6: Work
Air conditioning is not a luxury, it's one of the most important things humankind ever invented. Comfort too is not to be taken lightly, if you aren't comfortable you can't enjoy what's before you, and if you can't enjoy what you've got, what's the point in living?
7: Partners
A whole lot of cargo looks minimal when it's loaded onto a gigantic ship. This applies to more than one might expect.
8: Hidden Aspects
The average Tarowandian can spend up to 65% of its life span brushing its teeth. No matter what the fates bring, never forget to brush your teeth twice a day and floss. Also be sure to see a dentist twice a year to check for cavities, and brush your gums too to maintain a healthy pink colour. Red gums mean you may be susceptible to GINGIVITIS.
9: Higher Views
10:00 – Card 4
Male, Earth, Libra.
Failure and Loss. Defeat and ruin. The higher it's built, the harder it falls and the more it crushes when it does. That doesn't necessarily mean it wasn't worth building. Defeat can be accepted and the ruins left behind in favour of greener pastures, or one can start to rebuild. The latter is more difficult, but often more rewarding.
10: Reputation
4:00 – Card 5
Male, Air, Virgo.
A card of loneliness, disconnection and solitude. Also, a card of hope – If you have half of something it means the other half is out there somewhere. It may be far away, you may have to wade through the nastiest slums to find it, but when you do it's brilliant.
11: Friends
You can prefer quality over quantity or quantity over quality, but both are valid for different applications. Sometimes a lot of cheap crap does the job, sometimes fewer of the finest is better. Know which is which and don't mistake the two. When in doubt, go with tons of the best.
12: Hopes and Fears
The Vikings were once the most feared force on the northern seas, now they are remembered by statues, Swedish death metal, and Antonio Banderas movies. Do what you will to ensure your name, but once you're gone you have no control over what will become of it.
