The Astrological Spread
Difficulty: Complicated
The Astrological Tarot Spread is based upon houses of astrology. This complicated spread takes several steps to understand.
The first step is to interpret the tarot card for each individual position in the spread.
The second step involves further examination of the main axes. Positions 1 & 7 show the relationship theme, #1 representing the reader, #7 their partner. Positions 4 & 10 indicate motion. #4 indicates where the reader is now, and #10 suggests what they are moving towards.
The third step involves breaking down the chart into triads according to their house elements.
Positions 1, 5, & 9 represent the Fire triad, symbolising temperament and personal development.
Positions 2, 6, & 10 represent the Earth triad, concerned with materialism, money, and work.
Positions 3, 7, & 11 represent the Air triad, which has to do with thoughts, ideas, and connections with other people.
Positions 4, 8, & 12 represent the Water triad, the realm of emotions, moods, intuition, and yearnings.
Further, other patterns and correlations between certain numbers can be noted. Certain numbers such as the set of 5, 7, & 8 often speak about a particular theme.
Your Astrological Reading
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1: Basic Mood
5:00 – Card 2
Male, Water, Cancer.
A victim, weakness, prey. To try and then to fail in the worst way hurts, but it's better than standing still or letting those around you dictate your actions. There are great ambitious lives throughout history now deemed failures, even some angels have failed. But failure nonetheless.
2: Finance
Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Dzugdzugdzug.
Realistically, profit isn't hanging in the sky to be taken. If you take it, you're taking it from somebody. And you don't just get to smoosh them.
3: Mundane Life
And two for my homies. Never forget past orthodoxies, past people or past events. Those who don't know their history aren't doomed to repeat it, they're doomed to fail history class and look like idiots. One feels no shame in repeating something they never saw in the first place, but stupidity is the greatest sin.
4: Home
Homage to Wagner. Brünnhilde lays asleep on the mountain surrounded by magic fire, waiting for Siegfried. Only he who wasn't afraid of Wotan's spear could pass the fire. And when that romance didn't work out, she burned down Valhalla and left Earth to the mortals.
Not everyone can have what they want. A man who can't sing isn't going to be the world's greatest singer. Know yourself, know what you can do, and don't squander what you have trying to win something you won't. But also know when to try, and what's worth never giving up on.
5: Fun Things
Damn bright thing always vomiting heat and blinding light onto the populous. The artist of this deck isn't a fan.
6: Work
A portrait of Anton LaVey, (1930–1997), founder of the Church of Satan and author of The Satanic Bible. Anyone else would be Blasphemy.
You choose who you look up to. If you look up to a musician who does every drug in the book and dies at 25 your results may vary, from admiring the lives of men and women who have changed the world, lived happy and died old.
7: Partners
Tranquillity, calm, beauty, and for some reason I never understood, lobster. Don't ask me, blame antiquity.
8: Hidden Aspects
The means may be grotesque, but if they get you what you want you'd do well to use them.
9: Higher Views
Why in Pulp Fiction did he go with a Samurai Sword? He had a damn Chainsaw! Half the swords in pawn shops are cheap crap that'll break if you try to use it, chainsaws are dangerous, vicious weapons. It would have been way wiser and way cooler if he went with the Chainsaw. Way cooler.
That aside: It's about sacrifice. Nothing's free and nothing ventured means nothing gained.
10: Reputation
9:00 – Card 6
Male, Air, Sagittarius.
Ceration is the alchemical act of adding a liquid to the substance while heated, yielding a softer substance with a wax-like texture. Not to be confused with alchemical union, but an important step toward it.
11: Friends
Air conditioning is not a luxury, it's one of the most important things humankind ever invented. Comfort too is not to be taken lightly, if you aren't comfortable you can't enjoy what's before you, and if you can't enjoy what you've got, what's the point in living?
12: Hopes and Fears
An homage to David Lynch. I don't know what divinatory meaning you might get out of a cowboy duel in a kitchen sink, but please do let me know if you find one.
Traditionally, it means romantic change is coming. If you're smart about it, for the better.
