The Astrological Spread

Difficulty: Complicated
The Astrological Tarot Spread is based upon houses of astrology. This complicated spread takes several steps to understand.
The first step is to interpret the tarot card for each individual position in the spread.
The second step involves further examination of the main axes. Positions 1 & 7 show the relationship theme, #1 representing the reader, #7 their partner. Positions 4 & 10 indicate motion. #4 indicates where the reader is now, and #10 suggests what they are moving towards.
The third step involves breaking down the chart into triads according to their house elements.
Positions 1, 5, & 9 represent the Fire triad, symbolising temperament and personal development.
Positions 2, 6, & 10 represent the Earth triad, concerned with materialism, money, and work.
Positions 3, 7, & 11 represent the Air triad, which has to do with thoughts, ideas, and connections with other people.
Positions 4, 8, & 12 represent the Water triad, the realm of emotions, moods, intuition, and yearnings.
Further, other patterns and correlations between certain numbers can be noted. Certain numbers such as the set of 5, 7, & 8 often speak about a particular theme.
Your Astrological Reading
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1: Basic Mood

D cups in this case. Don't be ashamed to enjoy your vices, and never regret the sins you enjoy.
2: Finance

Chaos is dangerous to both belligerents. If you have all the arms and all the thorns in the world, you're just as much a danger to yourself if you don't keep track of them.
3: Mundane Life

Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Dzugdzugdzug.
Realistically, profit isn't hanging in the sky to be taken. If you take it, you're taking it from somebody. And you don't just get to smoosh them.
4: Home

If you're stuck, the first step to freedom is to examine what's holding you in place.
5: Fun Things

There is nothing that can't be destroyed by a powerful enough weapon, but be sure you have the right weapon for the job.
6: Work

AKA Justice in traditional Tarot.
Not the scales of a common religious moralist and no longer a cardinal virtue, but the raw, heartless justice of nature.
7: Partners

4:00 – Card 5
Male, Air, Virgo.
A card of loneliness, disconnection and solitude. Also, a card of hope – If you have half of something it means the other half is out there somewhere. It may be far away, you may have to wade through the nastiest slums to find it, but when you do it's brilliant.
8: Hidden Aspects

'And one of the elders saith unto me, Weep not: behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, hath prevailed to open the book, and to loose the seven seals thereof'. –Rev 5:5
9: Higher Views

A fencing mask on a skeleton with a cadeceus over a black sun before fire. Refer to the symbolic meaning of each to find the answers you seek.
10: Reputation

3:00 – Card 7
AKA Judgement or The Angel in traditional Tarot. Female, Air, Aries.
Birth, gain and success. To eat the apple and learn mastery of life and death. To nurse and grow strong. To win. These are all steps toward the goal but not the goal itself, to mistake the method for the achievement will leave one halfway there.
11: Friends

8:00 – Card 1
AKA Temperance in the traditional Tarot. Male, Earth, Scorpio.
Stagnation, nothing moves, nothing changes. Barriers block every effort to improve or change, not that rock has anywhere to go. The elements and life move around it, grow from it, decay upon it, but it goes nowhere.
12: Hopes and Fears

An homage to H.R. Giger's Alien Hieroglyphs and an insult to perspective. A wand that does nothing more than sap the life from you and squirt it down the drain.