The Astrological Spread

Difficulty: Complicated
The Astrological Tarot Spread is based upon houses of astrology. This complicated spread takes several steps to understand.
The first step is to interpret the tarot card for each individual position in the spread.
The second step involves further examination of the main axes. Positions 1 & 7 show the relationship theme, #1 representing the reader, #7 their partner. Positions 4 & 10 indicate motion. #4 indicates where the reader is now, and #10 suggests what they are moving towards.
The third step involves breaking down the chart into triads according to their house elements.
Positions 1, 5, & 9 represent the Fire triad, symbolising temperament and personal development.
Positions 2, 6, & 10 represent the Earth triad, concerned with materialism, money, and work.
Positions 3, 7, & 11 represent the Air triad, which has to do with thoughts, ideas, and connections with other people.
Positions 4, 8, & 12 represent the Water triad, the realm of emotions, moods, intuition, and yearnings.
Further, other patterns and correlations between certain numbers can be noted. Certain numbers such as the set of 5, 7, & 8 often speak about a particular theme.
Your Astrological Reading
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1: Basic Mood

Money is the king of all motivators. There is nothing in this world enough money can't buy. The people who tell you otherwise clearly don't have enough of it.
2: Finance

AKA The Magician in traditional Tarot.
The sort of guy who knows, wills, dares and keeps his mouth shut.
3: Mundane Life

12:00 – Card 11
AKA The Priestess in traditional Tarot. Female, Fire, Leo.
The master of events, the shaper of destiny, the will in action. The opposite of the fool, the Sorceress is active, in control. Aware instead of ignorant, wise instead of apathetic. A goddess, for the only gods that exist are men and women who make deities of themselves.
4: Home

D cups in this case. Don't be ashamed to enjoy your vices, and never regret the sins you enjoy.
5: Fun Things

Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam!
(Today is a good day to die!)
6: Work

The average Tarowandian can spend up to 65% of its life span brushing its teeth. No matter what the fates bring, never forget to brush your teeth twice a day and floss. Also be sure to see a dentist twice a year to check for cavities, and brush your gums too to maintain a healthy pink colour. Red gums mean you may be susceptible to GINGIVITIS.
7: Partners

9:00 – Card 6
Male, Air, Sagittarius.
Ceration is the alchemical act of adding a liquid to the substance while heated, yielding a softer substance with a wax-like texture. Not to be confused with alchemical union, but an important step toward it.
8: Hidden Aspects

Chaos is dangerous to both belligerents. If you have all the arms and all the thorns in the world, you're just as much a danger to yourself if you don't keep track of them.
9: Higher Views

Damn bright thing always vomiting heat and blinding light onto the populous. The artist of this deck isn't a fan.
10: Reputation

'And one of the elders saith unto me, Weep not: behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, hath prevailed to open the book, and to loose the seven seals thereof'. –Rev 5:5
11: Friends

4:00 – Card 5
Male, Air, Virgo.
A card of loneliness, disconnection and solitude. Also, a card of hope – If you have half of something it means the other half is out there somewhere. It may be far away, you may have to wade through the nastiest slums to find it, but when you do it's brilliant.
12: Hopes and Fears

The coronation of the nuclear bomb. It's the sword that can annihilate a city, a few of them can end the world. It's a weapon so deadly that its mere existence changed the way mankind thinks of war. It's the point at which humankind's means finally exceeded its goals. 1945 was the end of one world and the birth of a new.