The Astrological Spread
Difficulty: Complicated
The Astrological Tarot Spread is based upon houses of astrology. This complicated spread takes several steps to understand.
The first step is to interpret the tarot card for each individual position in the spread.
The second step involves further examination of the main axes. Positions 1 & 7 show the relationship theme, #1 representing the reader, #7 their partner. Positions 4 & 10 indicate motion. #4 indicates where the reader is now, and #10 suggests what they are moving towards.
The third step involves breaking down the chart into triads according to their house elements.
Positions 1, 5, & 9 represent the Fire triad, symbolising temperament and personal development.
Positions 2, 6, & 10 represent the Earth triad, concerned with materialism, money, and work.
Positions 3, 7, & 11 represent the Air triad, which has to do with thoughts, ideas, and connections with other people.
Positions 4, 8, & 12 represent the Water triad, the realm of emotions, moods, intuition, and yearnings.
Further, other patterns and correlations between certain numbers can be noted. Certain numbers such as the set of 5, 7, & 8 often speak about a particular theme.
Your Astrological Reading
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1: Basic Mood
Damn bright thing always vomiting heat and blinding light onto the populous. The artist of this deck isn't a fan.
2: Finance
Money is the king of all motivators. There is nothing in this world enough money can't buy. The people who tell you otherwise clearly don't have enough of it.
3: Mundane Life
Two wands to keep them rowing in circles past death, one wand to put an end to it.
4: Home
A wand is a means to a magical end. If you don't like what you're seeing, use yours to change the channel.
5: Fun Things
Some cultures to this day place coins upon the eyes of the dead to pay the ferryman who will take them to the land of the dead. I'm guessing one eyed individuals travel at half fare and the blind go for free.
In reality, you can't take a cent with you. Spend it while you're alive.
6: Work
The average Tarowandian can spend up to 65% of its life span brushing its teeth. No matter what the fates bring, never forget to brush your teeth twice a day and floss. Also be sure to see a dentist twice a year to check for cavities, and brush your gums too to maintain a healthy pink colour. Red gums mean you may be susceptible to GINGIVITIS.
7: Partners
The guillotine is the most effective method of killing ever invented. You can poison or shock or stab or shoot people but nothing is so certain to cause death as severing their head. Amazing how fast the world forgot that.
8: Hidden Aspects
AKA The Magician in traditional Tarot.
The sort of guy who knows, wills, dares and keeps his mouth shut.
9: Higher Views
AKA Justice in traditional Tarot.
Not the scales of a common religious moralist and no longer a cardinal virtue, but the raw, heartless justice of nature.
10: Reputation
Tranquillity, calm, beauty, and for some reason I never understood, lobster. Don't ask me, blame antiquity.
11: Friends
You can prefer quality over quantity or quantity over quality, but both are valid for different applications. Sometimes a lot of cheap crap does the job, sometimes fewer of the finest is better. Know which is which and don't mistake the two. When in doubt, go with tons of the best.
12: Hopes and Fears
