The Astrological Spread

Difficulty: Complicated
The Astrological Tarot Spread is based upon houses of astrology. This complicated spread takes several steps to understand.
The first step is to interpret the tarot card for each individual position in the spread.
The second step involves further examination of the main axes. Positions 1 & 7 show the relationship theme, #1 representing the reader, #7 their partner. Positions 4 & 10 indicate motion. #4 indicates where the reader is now, and #10 suggests what they are moving towards.
The third step involves breaking down the chart into triads according to their house elements.
Positions 1, 5, & 9 represent the Fire triad, symbolising temperament and personal development.
Positions 2, 6, & 10 represent the Earth triad, concerned with materialism, money, and work.
Positions 3, 7, & 11 represent the Air triad, which has to do with thoughts, ideas, and connections with other people.
Positions 4, 8, & 12 represent the Water triad, the realm of emotions, moods, intuition, and yearnings.
Further, other patterns and correlations between certain numbers can be noted. Certain numbers such as the set of 5, 7, & 8 often speak about a particular theme.
Your Astrological Reading
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1: Basic Mood

Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Da-Dling! Dzugdzugdzug.
Realistically, profit isn't hanging in the sky to be taken. If you take it, you're taking it from somebody. And you don't just get to smoosh them.
2: Finance

Read 'The Ingenious Hidalgo Don Quixote of La Mancha', preferably the edition with illustrations by Gustav Dore. At the very least see the play 'Man of La Mancha'.
Mock what lunatics you may, but at some point you've been the fool too, and fools, whatever else they are, are also the best dreamers.
3: Mundane Life

Tranquillity, calm, beauty, and for some reason I never understood, lobster. Don't ask me, blame antiquity.
4: Home

The means by which you arrive are not necessarily the means by which you'll stay.
5: Fun Things

Damn bright thing always vomiting heat and blinding light onto the populous. The artist of this deck isn't a fan.
6: Work

Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam!
(Today is a good day to die!)
7: Partners

The guillotine is the most effective method of killing ever invented. You can poison or shock or stab or shoot people but nothing is so certain to cause death as severing their head. Amazing how fast the world forgot that.
8: Hidden Aspects

'At the east of the garden of Eden he placed the Angel and a flaming sword that turned every direction to guard the way to the tree of life'. –Genesis 3:24
9: Higher Views

Two wands to keep them rowing in circles past death, one wand to put an end to it.
10: Reputation

A wand is a means to a magical end. If you don't like what you're seeing, use yours to change the channel.
11: Friends

This artist loves Thai food. Tom Yum soup and fried rice mostly. To be honest though I'm very poor at chopsticks.
12: Hopes and Fears

It doesn't always come out the way you wanted. That doesn't mean you can't still enjoy it.