The Astrological Spread

Difficulty: Complicated
The Astrological Tarot Spread is based upon houses of astrology. This complicated spread takes several steps to understand.
The first step is to interpret the tarot card for each individual position in the spread.
The second step involves further examination of the main axes. Positions 1 & 7 show the relationship theme, #1 representing the reader, #7 their partner. Positions 4 & 10 indicate motion. #4 indicates where the reader is now, and #10 suggests what they are moving towards.
The third step involves breaking down the chart into triads according to their house elements.
Positions 1, 5, & 9 represent the Fire triad, symbolising temperament and personal development.
Positions 2, 6, & 10 represent the Earth triad, concerned with materialism, money, and work.
Positions 3, 7, & 11 represent the Air triad, which has to do with thoughts, ideas, and connections with other people.
Positions 4, 8, & 12 represent the Water triad, the realm of emotions, moods, intuition, and yearnings.
Further, other patterns and correlations between certain numbers can be noted. Certain numbers such as the set of 5, 7, & 8 often speak about a particular theme.
Your Astrological Reading
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1: Basic Mood

Classic iconography. Classic significance: Absolute destruction.
2: Finance

AKA The World in traditional Tarot.
The walls and windows are all bricked up, there appears to be no way out, but you got in somehow, so there must be a way. Have you tried looking behind you? Even if you're trapped forever (As you are in this world) there's likely something fun do while you're here.
3: Mundane Life

An homage to H.P. Lovecraft and the culture that's grown around his works in the modern world. Charlemagne has been replaced by Cthulhu. Past insanity has been replaced with new insanity, but it's still madness all the same. Don't believe that just because it's changed means it's been fixed.
4: Home

AKA Justice in traditional Tarot.
Not the scales of a common religious moralist and no longer a cardinal virtue, but the raw, heartless justice of nature.
5: Fun Things

The most valuable things in the world are worthless if you throw them down the drain. And yes, those are Zebetites.
6: Work

An homage to David Lynch. I don't know what divinatory meaning you might get out of a cowboy duel in a kitchen sink, but please do let me know if you find one.
Traditionally, it means romantic change is coming. If you're smart about it, for the better.
7: Partners

AKA Jack of Hearts in traditional playing cards. One eyed as a result. If the world seems backwards, it's not.
The world is right where it's always been, it's more likely yourself that's gotten turned around. Nah just kidding, the world's gone nuts. Deal with it as best you can and don't forget which way is up – It's the opposite of the way your tears fall.
8: Hidden Aspects

'And one of the elders saith unto me, Weep not: behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, hath prevailed to open the book, and to loose the seven seals thereof'. –Rev 5:5
9: Higher Views

Why in Pulp Fiction did he go with a Samurai Sword? He had a damn Chainsaw! Half the swords in pawn shops are cheap crap that'll break if you try to use it, chainsaws are dangerous, vicious weapons. It would have been way wiser and way cooler if he went with the Chainsaw. Way cooler.
That aside: It's about sacrifice. Nothing's free and nothing ventured means nothing gained.
10: Reputation

10:00 – Card 4
Male, Earth, Libra.
Failure and Loss. Defeat and ruin. The higher it's built, the harder it falls and the more it crushes when it does. That doesn't necessarily mean it wasn't worth building. Defeat can be accepted and the ruins left behind in favour of greener pastures, or one can start to rebuild. The latter is more difficult, but often more rewarding.
11: Friends

When you order people to do something, be certain that your orders are clear.
12: Hopes and Fears

Tranquillity, calm, beauty, and for some reason I never understood, lobster. Don't ask me, blame antiquity.