The Astrological Spread

Difficulty: Complicated
The Astrological Tarot Spread is based upon houses of astrology. This complicated spread takes several steps to understand.
The first step is to interpret the tarot card for each individual position in the spread.
The second step involves further examination of the main axes. Positions 1 & 7 show the relationship theme, #1 representing the reader, #7 their partner. Positions 4 & 10 indicate motion. #4 indicates where the reader is now, and #10 suggests what they are moving towards.
The third step involves breaking down the chart into triads according to their house elements.
Positions 1, 5, & 9 represent the Fire triad, symbolising temperament and personal development.
Positions 2, 6, & 10 represent the Earth triad, concerned with materialism, money, and work.
Positions 3, 7, & 11 represent the Air triad, which has to do with thoughts, ideas, and connections with other people.
Positions 4, 8, & 12 represent the Water triad, the realm of emotions, moods, intuition, and yearnings.
Further, other patterns and correlations between certain numbers can be noted. Certain numbers such as the set of 5, 7, & 8 often speak about a particular theme.
Your Astrological Reading
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1: Basic Mood

AKA Jack of Hearts in traditional playing cards. One eyed as a result. If the world seems backwards, it's not.
The world is right where it's always been, it's more likely yourself that's gotten turned around. Nah just kidding, the world's gone nuts. Deal with it as best you can and don't forget which way is up – It's the opposite of the way your tears fall.
2: Finance

Tranquillity, calm, beauty, and for some reason I never understood, lobster. Don't ask me, blame antiquity.
3: Mundane Life

An homage to H.R. Giger's Alien Hieroglyphs and an insult to perspective. A wand that does nothing more than sap the life from you and squirt it down the drain.
4: Home

Don't overlook a good solution just because it's obvious.
5: Fun Things

Nature grows in the most desolate, diseased places. Study how nature does it to survive your own climate.
6: Work

The problem with a hand of glory is that wax melts and glory fades.
7: Partners

In this case King Sargon of Akkad. A great ruler in his own time rarely even makes the history books in ours.
8: Hidden Aspects

If you're stuck, the first step to freedom is to examine what's holding you in place.
9: Higher Views

This artist loves Thai food. Tom Yum soup and fried rice mostly. To be honest though I'm very poor at chopsticks.
10: Reputation

Thank you Mario, but your princess is in another castle. Besides, this one's blocked by a cypress tree fence. Lofty goals are nothing if you can't get to them.
11: Friends

It doesn't always come out the way you wanted. That doesn't mean you can't still enjoy it.
12: Hopes and Fears

Queen Bees begin developing in specially constructed cells within the hive. They are often oriented differently from other cells in the honeycomb, and are filled with Royal Jelly, a substance which determines the physiology of the queen to be.