The Astrological Spread
Difficulty: Complicated
The Astrological Tarot Spread is based upon houses of astrology. This complicated spread takes several steps to understand.
The first step is to interpret the tarot card for each individual position in the spread.
The second step involves further examination of the main axes. Positions 1 & 7 show the relationship theme, #1 representing the reader, #7 their partner. Positions 4 & 10 indicate motion. #4 indicates where the reader is now, and #10 suggests what they are moving towards.
The third step involves breaking down the chart into triads according to their house elements.
Positions 1, 5, & 9 represent the Fire triad, symbolising temperament and personal development.
Positions 2, 6, & 10 represent the Earth triad, concerned with materialism, money, and work.
Positions 3, 7, & 11 represent the Air triad, which has to do with thoughts, ideas, and connections with other people.
Positions 4, 8, & 12 represent the Water triad, the realm of emotions, moods, intuition, and yearnings.
Further, other patterns and correlations between certain numbers can be noted. Certain numbers such as the set of 5, 7, & 8 often speak about a particular theme.
Your Astrological Reading
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1: Basic Mood
Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam!
(Today is a good day to die!)
2: Finance
An homage to Bosch and Bruegel, and a card symbolic of victory to the well-armed and pain to the unprepared or unwilling to defend.
3: Mundane Life
The BLOB! The blob has taken the streets! It's reproducing, the blob will kill us all!!! THE BLOOOOB!!!!!!!!!!
4: Home
Thank you Mario, but your princess is in another castle. Besides, this one's blocked by a cypress tree fence. Lofty goals are nothing if you can't get to them.
5: Fun Things
Damn bright thing always vomiting heat and blinding light onto the populous. The artist of this deck isn't a fan.
6: Work
If you lost the means to do what you will, try retracing your steps. You had them before, you should be able to find them again. Unless they fell into the sewer, that would totally suck.
7: Partners
Regime change in action, it happens more in the sewers than the senates. One goes out, another comes in.
8: Hidden Aspects
10:00 – Card 4
Male, Earth, Libra.
Failure and Loss. Defeat and ruin. The higher it's built, the harder it falls and the more it crushes when it does. That doesn't necessarily mean it wasn't worth building. Defeat can be accepted and the ruins left behind in favour of greener pastures, or one can start to rebuild. The latter is more difficult, but often more rewarding.
9: Higher Views
The coronation of the nuclear bomb. It's the sword that can annihilate a city, a few of them can end the world. It's a weapon so deadly that its mere existence changed the way mankind thinks of war. It's the point at which humankind's means finally exceeded its goals. 1945 was the end of one world and the birth of a new.
10: Reputation
D cups in this case. Don't be ashamed to enjoy your vices, and never regret the sins you enjoy.
11: Friends
Things grow from other dead things. Don't overlook them for their dark origins, and don't dismiss the dead as a total erasure of what was.
12: Hopes and Fears
Tranquillity, calm, beauty, and for some reason I never understood, lobster. Don't ask me, blame antiquity.
