The Astrological Spread

Difficulty: Complicated
The Astrological Tarot Spread is based upon houses of astrology. This complicated spread takes several steps to understand.
The first step is to interpret the tarot card for each individual position in the spread.
The second step involves further examination of the main axes. Positions 1 & 7 show the relationship theme, #1 representing the reader, #7 their partner. Positions 4 & 10 indicate motion. #4 indicates where the reader is now, and #10 suggests what they are moving towards.
The third step involves breaking down the chart into triads according to their house elements.
Positions 1, 5, & 9 represent the Fire triad, symbolising temperament and personal development.
Positions 2, 6, & 10 represent the Earth triad, concerned with materialism, money, and work.
Positions 3, 7, & 11 represent the Air triad, which has to do with thoughts, ideas, and connections with other people.
Positions 4, 8, & 12 represent the Water triad, the realm of emotions, moods, intuition, and yearnings.
Further, other patterns and correlations between certain numbers can be noted. Certain numbers such as the set of 5, 7, & 8 often speak about a particular theme.
Your Astrological Reading
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1: Basic Mood

Drawn on July 4th to the sound of fireworks. Weapons and explosives are now components of ritual as often as components of battle. I suppose they always were.
2: Finance

Air conditioning is not a luxury, it's one of the most important things humankind ever invented. Comfort too is not to be taken lightly, if you aren't comfortable you can't enjoy what's before you, and if you can't enjoy what you've got, what's the point in living?
3: Mundane Life

AKA Justice in traditional Tarot.
Not the scales of a common religious moralist and no longer a cardinal virtue, but the raw, heartless justice of nature.
4: Home

It doesn't always come out the way you wanted. That doesn't mean you can't still enjoy it.
5: Fun Things

And two for my homies. Never forget past orthodoxies, past people or past events. Those who don't know their history aren't doomed to repeat it, they're doomed to fail history class and look like idiots. One feels no shame in repeating something they never saw in the first place, but stupidity is the greatest sin.
6: Work

Thank you Mario, but your princess is in another castle. Besides, this one's blocked by a cypress tree fence. Lofty goals are nothing if you can't get to them.
7: Partners

Two wands to keep them rowing in circles past death, one wand to put an end to it.
8: Hidden Aspects

This artist loves Thai food. Tom Yum soup and fried rice mostly. To be honest though I'm very poor at chopsticks.
9: Higher Views

Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam!
(Today is a good day to die!)
10: Reputation

There is nothing that can't be destroyed by a powerful enough weapon, but be sure you have the right weapon for the job.
11: Friends

Things grow from other dead things. Don't overlook them for their dark origins, and don't dismiss the dead as a total erasure of what was.
12: Hopes and Fears

The average Tarowandian can spend up to 65% of its life span brushing its teeth. No matter what the fates bring, never forget to brush your teeth twice a day and floss. Also be sure to see a dentist twice a year to check for cavities, and brush your gums too to maintain a healthy pink colour. Red gums mean you may be susceptible to GINGIVITIS.