The Astrological Spread

Difficulty: Complicated
The Astrological Tarot Spread is based upon houses of astrology. This complicated spread takes several steps to understand.
The first step is to interpret the tarot card for each individual position in the spread.
The second step involves further examination of the main axes. Positions 1 & 7 show the relationship theme, #1 representing the reader, #7 their partner. Positions 4 & 10 indicate motion. #4 indicates where the reader is now, and #10 suggests what they are moving towards.
The third step involves breaking down the chart into triads according to their house elements.
Positions 1, 5, & 9 represent the Fire triad, symbolising temperament and personal development.
Positions 2, 6, & 10 represent the Earth triad, concerned with materialism, money, and work.
Positions 3, 7, & 11 represent the Air triad, which has to do with thoughts, ideas, and connections with other people.
Positions 4, 8, & 12 represent the Water triad, the realm of emotions, moods, intuition, and yearnings.
Further, other patterns and correlations between certain numbers can be noted. Certain numbers such as the set of 5, 7, & 8 often speak about a particular theme.
Your Astrological Reading
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1: Basic Mood

Tranquillity, calm, beauty, and for some reason I never understood, lobster. Don't ask me, blame antiquity.
2: Finance

The most valuable things in the world are worthless if you throw them down the drain. And yes, those are Zebetites.
3: Mundane Life

An homage to David Lynch. I don't know what divinatory meaning you might get out of a cowboy duel in a kitchen sink, but please do let me know if you find one.
Traditionally, it means romantic change is coming. If you're smart about it, for the better.
4: Home

Air conditioning is not a luxury, it's one of the most important things humankind ever invented. Comfort too is not to be taken lightly, if you aren't comfortable you can't enjoy what's before you, and if you can't enjoy what you've got, what's the point in living?
5: Fun Things

A whole lot of cargo looks minimal when it's loaded onto a gigantic ship. This applies to more than one might expect.
6: Work

Homage to Wagner. Brünnhilde lays asleep on the mountain surrounded by magic fire, waiting for Siegfried. Only he who wasn't afraid of Wotan's spear could pass the fire. And when that romance didn't work out, she burned down Valhalla and left Earth to the mortals.
Not everyone can have what they want. A man who can't sing isn't going to be the world's greatest singer. Know yourself, know what you can do, and don't squander what you have trying to win something you won't. But also know when to try, and what's worth never giving up on.
7: Partners

Queen Bees begin developing in specially constructed cells within the hive. They are often oriented differently from other cells in the honeycomb, and are filled with Royal Jelly, a substance which determines the physiology of the queen to be.
8: Hidden Aspects

Two wands to keep them rowing in circles past death, one wand to put an end to it.
9: Higher Views

The problem with a hand of glory is that wax melts and glory fades.
10: Reputation

Some cultures to this day place coins upon the eyes of the dead to pay the ferryman who will take them to the land of the dead. I'm guessing one eyed individuals travel at half fare and the blind go for free.
In reality, you can't take a cent with you. Spend it while you're alive.
11: Friends

Why in Pulp Fiction did he go with a Samurai Sword? He had a damn Chainsaw! Half the swords in pawn shops are cheap crap that'll break if you try to use it, chainsaws are dangerous, vicious weapons. It would have been way wiser and way cooler if he went with the Chainsaw. Way cooler.
That aside: It's about sacrifice. Nothing's free and nothing ventured means nothing gained.
12: Hopes and Fears

'At the east of the garden of Eden he placed the Angel and a flaming sword that turned every direction to guard the way to the tree of life'. –Genesis 3:24