The Astrological Spread

Difficulty: Complicated
The Astrological Tarot Spread is based upon houses of astrology. This complicated spread takes several steps to understand.
The first step is to interpret the tarot card for each individual position in the spread.
The second step involves further examination of the main axes. Positions 1 & 7 show the relationship theme, #1 representing the reader, #7 their partner. Positions 4 & 10 indicate motion. #4 indicates where the reader is now, and #10 suggests what they are moving towards.
The third step involves breaking down the chart into triads according to their house elements.
Positions 1, 5, & 9 represent the Fire triad, symbolising temperament and personal development.
Positions 2, 6, & 10 represent the Earth triad, concerned with materialism, money, and work.
Positions 3, 7, & 11 represent the Air triad, which has to do with thoughts, ideas, and connections with other people.
Positions 4, 8, & 12 represent the Water triad, the realm of emotions, moods, intuition, and yearnings.
Further, other patterns and correlations between certain numbers can be noted. Certain numbers such as the set of 5, 7, & 8 often speak about a particular theme.
Your Astrological Reading
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1: Basic Mood

If you lost the means to do what you will, try retracing your steps. You had them before, you should be able to find them again. Unless they fell into the sewer, that would totally suck.
2: Finance

The tree of life doesn't play out flawlessly like it does in the diagrams. It's actually far more distorted than that. Don't mistake the map for the territory and follow books blindly.
3: Mundane Life

AKA The Magician in traditional Tarot.
The sort of guy who knows, wills, dares and keeps his mouth shut.
4: Home

You can prefer quality over quantity or quantity over quality, but both are valid for different applications. Sometimes a lot of cheap crap does the job, sometimes fewer of the finest is better. Know which is which and don't mistake the two. When in doubt, go with tons of the best.
5: Fun Things

The Vikings were once the most feared force on the northern seas, now they are remembered by statues, Swedish death metal, and Antonio Banderas movies. Do what you will to ensure your name, but once you're gone you have no control over what will become of it.
6: Work

D cups in this case. Don't be ashamed to enjoy your vices, and never regret the sins you enjoy.
7: Partners

Tranquillity, calm, beauty, and for some reason I never understood, lobster. Don't ask me, blame antiquity.
8: Hidden Aspects

A whole lot of cargo looks minimal when it's loaded onto a gigantic ship. This applies to more than one might expect.
9: Higher Views

Some cultures to this day place coins upon the eyes of the dead to pay the ferryman who will take them to the land of the dead. I'm guessing one eyed individuals travel at half fare and the blind go for free.
In reality, you can't take a cent with you. Spend it while you're alive.
10: Reputation

The BLOB! The blob has taken the streets! It's reproducing, the blob will kill us all!!! THE BLOOOOB!!!!!!!!!!
11: Friends

Classic iconography. Classic significance: Absolute destruction.
12: Hopes and Fears

Read 'The Ingenious Hidalgo Don Quixote of La Mancha', preferably the edition with illustrations by Gustav Dore. At the very least see the play 'Man of La Mancha'.
Mock what lunatics you may, but at some point you've been the fool too, and fools, whatever else they are, are also the best dreamers.