The Astrological Spread

Difficulty: Complicated
The Astrological Tarot Spread is based upon houses of astrology. This complicated spread takes several steps to understand.
The first step is to interpret the tarot card for each individual position in the spread.
The second step involves further examination of the main axes. Positions 1 & 7 show the relationship theme, #1 representing the reader, #7 their partner. Positions 4 & 10 indicate motion. #4 indicates where the reader is now, and #10 suggests what they are moving towards.
The third step involves breaking down the chart into triads according to their house elements.
Positions 1, 5, & 9 represent the Fire triad, symbolising temperament and personal development.
Positions 2, 6, & 10 represent the Earth triad, concerned with materialism, money, and work.
Positions 3, 7, & 11 represent the Air triad, which has to do with thoughts, ideas, and connections with other people.
Positions 4, 8, & 12 represent the Water triad, the realm of emotions, moods, intuition, and yearnings.
Further, other patterns and correlations between certain numbers can be noted. Certain numbers such as the set of 5, 7, & 8 often speak about a particular theme.
Your Astrological Reading
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1: Basic Mood

AKA The World in traditional Tarot.
The walls and windows are all bricked up, there appears to be no way out, but you got in somehow, so there must be a way. Have you tried looking behind you? Even if you're trapped forever (As you are in this world) there's likely something fun do while you're here.
2: Finance

The most valuable things in the world are worthless if you throw them down the drain. And yes, those are Zebetites.
3: Mundane Life

A whole lot of cargo looks minimal when it's loaded onto a gigantic ship. This applies to more than one might expect.
4: Home

6:00 – Card 0
Male, Water, Pisces.
Ignorance is a trait of the most basic. To let the currents of time and fate dictate one's actions completely, to seek the lowest, easiest path will lead one downwards. One's hunger will destroy what's beautiful, resulting in the squandering of things put to better use.
5: Fun Things

In this case King Sargon of Akkad. A great ruler in his own time rarely even makes the history books in ours.
6: Work

Don't overlook a good solution just because it's obvious.
7: Partners

AKA 2angels1grail in traditional 4chan. If you're offended, figure out why you're offended and excise the weakness.
8: Hidden Aspects

This artist loves Thai food. Tom Yum soup and fried rice mostly. To be honest though I'm very poor at chopsticks.
9: Higher Views

The problem with a hand of glory is that wax melts and glory fades.
10: Reputation

Damn bright thing always vomiting heat and blinding light onto the populous. The artist of this deck isn't a fan.
11: Friends

9:00 – Card 6
Male, Air, Sagittarius.
Ceration is the alchemical act of adding a liquid to the substance while heated, yielding a softer substance with a wax-like texture. Not to be confused with alchemical union, but an important step toward it.
12: Hopes and Fears

Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam!
(Today is a good day to die!)